I'm annoyed. I warn you now that this post is a rant.
Why does everyone always make my decisions for me? I want to do so many things... I want to preach, I want to write, I want to be free and do all things I've always felt a special connection with. I want to help out with the creche at my church, I want to be given a chance to do something!
But no one ever gives me that chance. The only things I'm doing at the moment to help out Youth is overheads and sound... sometimes I get the feeling I'm the only one, besides Andrew who's the one singing, who actually knows how to use the desk at Youth. I'm running the entire sound desk, which means that I've got no chance to spread my wings.
People confine me to the back, a behind the scenes worker. But I'm not that kinda girl. I can do things and God spoke to me last night telling me I'm going to do something BIG this year for Him. But will anyone give me the chance I need?
I'm not a forceful person. I can tell you now, that although I'm a good speaker, I hate asking for things. Whether it's to help out, or if they've got something, I hate it. I even find it hard to ask people how their week went!
All I want is a chance to shine for God, to let his light shine through me and attract the world.
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2 comments:
You're beautiful, you know that? On the inside anyways. It's amazing that you're so empowered for Jesus and want so much to shine for him. Remember that God will make a way for you if he feels that you can be of help. Maybe helping with sound isn't what you pictured, but maybe, God's setting you up for something in the future. God has everything in his hands.
I probably sound bossy and preacher-ish, but I'm just trying to caution you. I don't want you to burn out. I've been a Christian since I was born, but I really admire your fortitude in coming to the Lord on your own and really having the heart to shine for him. Reading these last couple entries have really inspired me.
-Janet
Thanks. You are really inspirational, Delta. :)
:) Thanks Janet!
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