Last night was so amazing. We had Youth, as we always do on Friday nights and Andrew spoke about anger, how it can be a good thing, but shouldn't be used to sin or to fuel revenge. It was an amazing teaching, something I didn't need last night, at the moment I'm handling anger quite well, actually, but probably will need some time in the future.
Anyway, Josh went up to the altar. Josh, the angel, the perfect guy, the one I've fallen in love with. Almost all the guys went up, but so did Josh. Everyone who didn't go up (like me) laid hands on them and prayed... I prayed over all of them, but mainly Josh. I felt tingly again and it was really nice. He was crying and everything and it was all I could do to stop myself from going up there, hugging him and telling him it was alright. I can't believe it's that strong.......
Love is new to me. Never felt it before, only lied to myself about it- Josh has always been like an enemy and then I fell in love with him... but for about half a year I lied to myself that I loved another guy at Youth, but in reality I was just hiding from the truth......
I have no idea what to do. I'm always the smart one, getting dux, yada yada. But now, I'm clueless.
2 comments:
Shona, I honestly have no idea what to say. I really don't. All I can do is listen.
I've never been in your situation, but I can imagine how it feels. The heartbreak, the bitterness, the sadness-nothing really is fair in love, is it? That's so sad. What is one in your situation supposed to do? Get over him? I have no idea. And would you even really want to? Because-I'm sure he's a wonderful person. Would it be worth giving up his friendship just so you could try to erase the emptiness inside of you? No clue. None, whatsoever, at all. Just know Shona, that a lot of people care about you, and you'll always have your friends, family, and us SAY-ers for support. Also, though it might not seem like it, I know you will grow from this experience, and I'm sure you'll be able to put it in your writing some day.
*huggle glomp before moves on to the next post*
-Mara, :-)
That's good though... a listening ear really helps.
Nothing is fair at all! Thanks, Mara. You're comforting :)
*huggle glomp attack SAYS style*
Shona
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