I know that it seems ironic to talk about death at this kind of year. Even to me it seems strange, sad and unforgiving. But I feel like talking about it and the impact it has on lives. The sadness and the joy it can bring people.I'm going to share with you guys a post about how people recover and react to death I made on SAYS on October 9th.

Grieving is a necessary stage in everyone's lives. Whether they like it or not, they have no choice in the matter. When they come out of it, they are usually stronger, but at the same time more vulnerable and emotional.Men tend to hurt more when they grieve. They don't have our logical minds so they can't come to terms with it. But at the same time they are afraid; afraid of what else death can and will do, afraid of what would happen if you found out they were vulnerable and afraid that you would have no one to lean on. So they hide their emotion, which only makes it stronger.When you write grieving, don't overdo it. Maybe have a chapter of them grieving and later on in the story just have little references to it, about how they are going and what stages they are at.Grieving, like love, has several stages; The first stage is denial. They don't believe with what they are hearing/seeing and try to bring them back. They either can't or won't come to terms with the simple fact that death is death and it means the end of someone's life.The second is mental shutdown. They are suddenly overcome with shock and can't really think like they used to without thoughts of that person clouding their minds; they can't sleep and when they do they dream about it, they find themselves comparing other emotions with it etc.The third stage is mourning. They are quite emotional through this stage and don't want to do anything except see this person again. This stage often goes on for a month or so if they are very, very close to this person but much less if not.The fourth stage is acceptance. They accept that the person is not coming back. They realise that they shouldn't be hiding away. They also see that death is 'but the next great adventure'The fifth and final stage is indifference. They stop thinking about the death and only the happy times. They get on with life and try not to think about it.In all of these stages, except perhaps the fourth and fifth, the person is quite vulnerable and easy to scare. They might open up in the third, but probably not prior to it.

See, as I highlighted before death is strange and hard. And another thing I want to say is that death can bring Joy. Here, look at Rachel Joy Scott. She was the first person to be killed in the Columbine School Shooting, America's worst shooting ever, in 1999 on April 20th. Now, it was a tragedy and everyone absolutely hated it, but also joy was brought to lives who became Christians and who were inspired, even six years after the killings.

Death is hard to deal with, but it can be helpful. People need to realise that death isn't the end of the world; merely a new challenge it tries to bring. It's not that we shouldn't mourn, or that we shouldn't have sympathy for their family and close friends. It's a terrible thing to have someone ripped out of your life. But they should do this respectfully, and then get on with their lives later, knowing that that person is watching over them and that that person wants them to do well.

~Shona